What, me worry?

How often do you find yourself worrying, fretting about something over which you seem to have no control?  How much does that rob you of living in the moment, and just trusting that everything will work out.  It may not work out how you were planning, or how you would choose, but rarely are the things we worry over really that substantial when looked at as part of the bigger picture.

We worry over money.  Depending on your situation, it can be "how in the world am I going to pay all the bills and still put groceries in the cupboard" or "we really want to take a nice vacation but it's not in the budget" or "should I increase the percentage I'm putting away for retirement or what I'm putting away for my kid's college fund".  In the long run it generally works out.  If you are living paycheck to paycheck, it may not be pleasant, but there are solutions that will keep you from starving or having the water turned off.  When you're old and your kids are grown, are they going to remember that you went camping instead of to Disney?  Financial planners will probably say plan for your own future before your kids, but I think that one's a personal decision.  Regardless, in the worrying you rob yourself of enjoying the moment, and I firmly believe there is the opportunity for joy in every moment and situation.

We worry over work.  Why?  Is that really the most important thing in your life?  If so, I feel sorry for you, because either you don't have any people worth your time or you have the people but don't recognize it.  Don't get me wrong, it's important to work hard and do your best regardless of what your job is, but it shouldn't be the driving force in your life.  When you take your work home with you (literally or figuratively) you deprive yourself of the ability to relax and recharge; you miss sitting on the deck, or reading a book for pleasure, or watching a ballgame.  Whatever the problem, it will still be there in the morning.

We worry about our kids.  We want the best for them.  We want them to have a better, easier time in life than we had.  We want to protect them from being hurt.  While all of this is proper to a point, we can't control every moment of their lives.  And we shouldn't try to control it, not if we want them to grow into healthy, self-sufficient, productive people.  They need to struggle, they need to figure things out on their own, they need to work for what they want, they need to learn that everything will not always go their way, and they need to get hurt but know that they will recover.  Be there for them to ask questions and to give support but don't try to fix it all for them. You'll both be better for it, and you'll be able to enjoy the process of them growing up a lot more when you ease off a little.

We worry about the little things.  Is the house clean enough?  Do my neighbors think my yard is the worst kept one on the street?  Am I exercising enough and eating healthy enough?  Does my mother-in-law think I'm a bad wife?  Am I a terrible mother because I let my daughter's room be messy?  Am I a terrible mother because my son thinks I'm mean for not letting him run around with his friends after dark?  

The answer to all these questions is another question: does it really matter?  Unless there is garbage piled up in every room and black mold growing in every crevice, your house is clean enough.  If you can still see your toddler's head above the weeds, your yard is okay.  If you make an effort to get your heart rate up a few times a week, whether from yard work, riding a bike, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or walking the dog, and if you skip the burger and fries for a turkey sandwich sometimes, then you're probably not doing too bad.  If your husband is happy with how you approach the marriage, then who cares what his mom thinks.  No woman will ever be good enough for her baby boy.  If your daughter is not embarrassed to take her friends into her room, then it's not too messy.  If your son doesn't think you're mean at some point in his life, then you may indeed be a bad mother because you're probably not setting enough boundaries.

My whole point?  Don't worry.  I know, easier said than done, and I find myself falling into worry at times.  But then I remember to sit back, take a deep breath, and ask myself if any of this is really going to matter in six months, one year, five years, ten years.  Is God really going to throw more at me than He and I can handle together?  Is my worrying going to do anything to solve the problem?  I remember a couple of my favorite verses from Scripture: 

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  Matthew 6:27

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34 

When we worry we not only prevent ourselves from enjoying the life we have and everything in it, both good and bad, but we tell God that we don't trust Him.  He promised to give us everything we need, and when we worry we're saying that we don't really believe that.  So, live in the moment, trust that it will all work out, and accept that you aren't in control of every moment.